


Boyhood

by MyMyMadeline



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Motherly Reader, No Romance, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 18:22:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12216360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyMyMadeline/pseuds/MyMyMadeline
Summary: The boy sits on his bed, his hat and head tilted down, in deep reflection. If he senses your presence he makes no indication of it. You want to walk away, knowing that you shouldn't intrude, but you need to talk to him—you need to know.





	Boyhood

He sits quietly in his room and you're reminded, not for the first time, just how much the world has changed. 

The boy sits on his bed, his hat and head tilted down, in deep reflection. If he senses your presence he makes no indication of it. You want to walk away, knowing that you shouldn't intrude, but you need to talk to him—you need to know.

Your hand reaches out to push the door completely open and you take a tentative step in. Without turning you push the door back into its original slightly ajar position behind you. It gives a privacy without making him feel entrapped—something you would know all about at this point.

"If you think I haven't heard it enough from Dad and Michonne, you're crazy."

"No...No I just... I just have to..."  
You trail off, not sure where to start and too scared to go in bluntly. After these years of worrying and fighting and fretting, you should be good at this. But every time it's just as hard as the first time he left. There is a long pause before either of you speak again. 

"I saw him."

"Ohmygod." It comes out as more of a quick release of all the breath and tension you'd been holding than actual words. You wrap your shaking arms around your torso in an unconscious effort to comfort yourself. "What-Did he... Was he..." 

You feel the tears already in your eyes and you scold yourself for being so weak. Today you were stretchered your emotional limit. You dealt with the overwhelming presence of Negan all day, you watched Olivia get shot, Eugene get taken, and Spencer... well you'd rather not think about what happened Spencer. All of this happened while you were left in charge of Alexandria. The momentum of the day kept you from really feeling anything, and in this moment of respite, the guilt and pain couldn't help but bubble over. Carl takes his hat off and places it on the bed.

"He was alive."

"And?"

"He was... like their servant."  
He looks at you for the first time since you entered his room. He hasn't rebandaged his eye but you don't even think about it with all the pain, confusion, and overwhelming anger written across his face. It suddenly comes to you. He's still a child. He is a man capable of many things, murder included, but he's still a boy. You realize how much you're asking of him but you can't seem to walk away, especially when he continues.  
"I don't know what they did to him, or what he did to them, but they treated him like a dog. Like he wasn't human."

"Is he okay?"

It seems a stupid question to ask, but it's all that really matters. It doesn't help that it comes through a shaking voice and trembling lip, your eyes ready with tears at any second.

"What do you think?" He snaps and that's all it takes. The tears come out and you reach up a hand to stifle the sob that slips from your mouth. 

"I'm sorry, Carl. I-I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't ha-"

"No. No no no," he sighs. He stands up, reaching a hand towards your shoulder before pulling it back and dragging the hand over his face. When he looks back at you the anger in his eyes has turned to shame and worry. "Hey-Look I'm sorry... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. That was really shitty of me." 

"No... no it's fine." You attempt to compose yourself and wipe your eyes and nose with the hand not wrapped around your torso. The tears continue to slip, but you're able to control your breath.

"He was beaten and bruised. He looked like hell. But, he looked like he was staying strong. He actually stood up to Negan a couple times."

You nod, your eyes on the floor, remembering the Daryl that you had seen on the Saviors first visit. He was like a ghost, unphased by anything Negan had thrown his way. You were only able to lock eyes with him once. He had looked hollow and broken but he gave you a small scrunch of his brows and the smallest of nods. He would survive. And Carl gave you just the confirmation you needed. Carl calls your name softly, reminding you of his presence and your head comes back up. 

"How-How many did you kill?" You ask softly. He gives a sad smile in return. 

"Two." 

With a sniff and a shaky breath, you smile and nod. "Good." 

You're about to turn and leave when he calls your name again. You turn back. "Yeah?" 

He takes off his hat and puts it on the bed. "He's gonna get out. We're gonna get him out. Sooner or later, he'll make it back." 

He steps forward and before you can react, he's hugging you. You're automatically placing your hands around him, when you realize you can't remember the last time he hugged you. It's different. He's almost as tall as you now. But, deeper than that, he's grown inside too. You will never be able to rid yourself of the maternal feelings he and Judith stir deep inside you. Watching him grow from the boy you made bracelets with on the steps of the Greene's porch to the man who stood up to Negan when no one else could, he will always still be little Carl. Rick's boy. The Collective Son. 

You place your hand on the back of his head and smooth his hat-tussled hair down. "I missed you, Carl. Don't scare me like that again." 

He smiles. "Okay." 

He hugs you until he feels you're done and you give him a chagrined 'Geez, a grown woman comforted by a boy—I really am getting soft.'

You close the door and head out, giving a shaken Rick a small nod, and you're reminded, not for the first time, just how much this world has changed.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting a fic! So please leave a like and/or review !! Feedback would be much much appreciated!! thanks for reading ! <3


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